Being Back

In the weeks since my last post, my brother was diagnosed with cancer and I stopped writing. Some people can charge through life's curves by setting their keyboards afire. Not me. I admit. This kind of thing brings me to a screeching halt.

In the early weeks I actually felt guilty about even wanting to put my God-given talents to use on fiction. Surely I had better things to do with my time and talent. I guilted myself into a few fits and starts; days when I'd say, "Your WIP is calling..." or "Your characters miss you..." or "You're not waiting on some magical checkered flag to rev your engine are you?..." But really, my family and I needed each other desperately for those first 21 days or so.

Then I began to see glimmers of a new normal: I slept through the night and actually felt rested the next morning. I went a whole day without bursting into tears. (Though my heart still trembles out of nowhere several times a day...) My brother met a fellow cancer warrior who lifted his spirits and quieted ours. And then I knew that I could return to my back-burnered pages.

Can I admit that I had no idea where I was in my story when I went back? It's like leaving any book midway through and picking it up after a month. I had to backtrack, refresh, re-introduce myself to the people in those pages. Once I'd forgiven myself for attending to my life, the words began to flow.

This book itself has had more than its share of ups and downs. Originally slated for publication in 2011 (then re-scheduled a time or two), I wrote the bulk of the first draft while I was going through my divorce. I should have brought the manuscript to a screeching halt while I gathered my wits, but I didn't. I forged ahead.

When the edits came from my wonderful editor Monica Harris (God rest her soul), Dorchester went into bankruptcy and the rights to my unpublished book went into limbo. It would be two years before the company and my contract found a new home when Amazon bought my former publisher and I became a Montlake Romance author.

During that time, I reluctantly started another book. Monica passed away, my oldest son went off to grad school, I settled into singledom, and realized my original story now belonged to an author with a new mindset. My beautiful cover deserves to sandwich some pages. So late in 2013, I started that story -- The Wicked and the Wonderful -- again, in earnest. And then the cancer curve came.

Yesterday, I re-read the scene I left off on six weeks ago. After some editing (which I usually don't do while I'm writing), I even scribbled the first few paragraphs of the next scene on the back of a marked-up page. And today, I'm writing this post.

I feel okay. I'm doing okay.

I won't bother typing in yesterday's changes. I'll put those pages into the draft binder with the rest of the manuscript's pages and move on to the next square in my plot chart. I'm looking forward to the villain and the heroine meeting up ahead. I hear their words and I have found my smile.

Being back is good.

Dangling from a Dorchester thread

The author, reader and industry blogs have been all aflutter since Publisher's Weekly leaked word that Dorchester Publishing changed its business model mid-stream and unbeknownst to its authors. Today, after several days of asking questions of colleagues with no answers, I came across this "letter to authors" from Dorchester.

I can't even think of a word to describe the knotted, pit-of-stomach, ball of dread and confusion that news caused when it tore across the internet like wildfire, vanquishing hopes and expectations -- not to mention good-faith agreements -- in its destructive wake. Dramatic turn of phrase? Well, yes. But our publisher going e-book and POD (print-on-demand) is huge, game-changing news. And we didn't take that second hand news lightly.

After all, we're authors. We write. We publish. And with Dorchester, we expected to see physical, hold in my hand books. Downloadable, read on a screen text is fine as an option at this point in the industry's evolution. But for many readers, it's still about choice. To me, Dorch's chosen course is a bit like the Big Three automakers deciding to produce only electric cars as a way out of  their financial woes. Sure, we drivers believe in green living. But are we all ready to free ourselves of gasoline run cars today?

As one of those Dorchester authors with a book "in the pipeline" I can tell you I'm a whole slew of tangled emotions at the moment. I'll let you know how this all pans out.

“Is it fear or courage that compels you, fleshling?”

I thought my favorite line from the movie, Transformers, would make a quick and easy New Year’s blog topic. And it did, for a minute.

One of the quotes listed on my Facebook profile is from a sheet of paper my father gave me when I was about 16. “The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new. Give yourself a chance.”

I can honestly say that I’ve gone beyond the chance aspect of living and changed that into an expectation. My brothers and I might call it the Worth Ethic. We simply have this expectation that if we set our minds to it, the doggone thing will happen. End of story. So fear, I presumed at the start of this blog, has no place in my life.

But it does!

I am deathly afraid of failing to try. I am certain that if I have the slightest inkling of a talent that I don’t put to productive use, the good Lord will look at me as I stand before him and say, “But why didn’t you ever. . .?” I am a staunch believer in the parable of the talents (about multiplying what you’ve been given) to the point that I’m willing to pounce on the slightest glimmer of interest in any new activity by my children.

“Oh, you think you might like to draw?” We try an art class. “Want to be like Denzel Washington, do you?” Acting workshops. “Like to shake it up?” Dance class it is. And for speed, tackling, a good arm, a strong kick, there’s been track, football, hockey, soccer, basketball and baseball. Oh and viola and trumpet lessons -- with the next household instrument to be determined. I even bought a camera for my son who (temporarily) showed a knack for great composition in impromptu photos.

Some might consider it overkill, I call it exposure. How else would Barack Obama have known he could be president if he’d never tried to be an elected official? I just want my kids to venture into new experiences without fear of failure. In our house, it’s not not succeeding that I focus on. It’s not exploring your heart’s desire, not attempting to discern your strengths and weaknesses, not learning what’s out there in the world waiting for you to find it.

As a writer, I’ve done my share of dabbling. Those things that didn’t work out get added to my Lived & Learned file. And I relish those experiences. Taking them along on this writer’s journey is perhaps one way of multiplying my gift; expanding my own mind while sharing with others.

The fear I carry is not a worrisome one that flinches at failure or cringes at condescending viewpoints. It’s more of a "Forget Everything Else And Rise!" motivator that keeps pushing me to do me best.

"Fear or courage"? For this fleshling, it’s both.

Here’s wishing you a FEEAR-ful 2009!

Stefanie
www.stefanieworth.com

A Chat With Farrah Rochon

I'm excited to bring you an interview with one of my fellow authors who writes for Dorchester's African American Romance line, Farrah Rochon.

Farrah, thanks for stopping by my blog. Can you tell us a little about yourself and your journey to publication?

I usually think of myself as being a bit boring, but then again, I like boring. :) I am an avid sports fan. The start of football season is marked on my calendar in bold, red ink. I also love to travel. My favorite spots are Disney World, for obvious reason (who can resist that Goofy), and NewYork City. I would love to live there one day. I’m a huge Broadway fan.Wicked, The Color Purple, and Aida are my favorite musicals.

Of course, I’m also a ferocious reader. I’m currently seeking a 12-Step Program to help with my addiction to buying books, but it looks like I’ll have to start it up myself. It’ll at least put my Psychology degrees to good use.

As for my journey to publication, it has been a long, but fun one. I started my first “real” novel back in college at the urging of one of my professors (who happens to be the only grandchild of W.E.B. Dubois). I wrote on and off throughout undergrad and graduate school, but it was at the encouragement of a group of friends I met through my favorite author’s online message boards that I decided to try writing romance. The rest, asthey say, is history. It took five years and four completed manuscripts, but I would not take back a single thing along my journey to publication.

What’s been your most exciting moment since the release of “Deliver Me”?

That’s pretty hard to pinpoint. There have been so many great things over the course of the last year (my first booksigning, seeing my book inWalMart). However, I’d have to say the most exciting moment was this summer when over sixty of my closest friends (yes, I have over sixty close friends) flew in from every end of the U.S. and even from abroad to attend my first ever booksigning at the Romance Writers of America Annual Conference in Dallas. For years they’ve heard me talk about finally having my own table at the booksigning, and it meant so much to me to have them there. Everyone wore these smashing red Rochonette Fan Club t-shirts, and made a huge splash at the RWA Literacy Signing. It was phenomenal.

Tell us about your upcoming release.

I’m very excited about my upcoming novel, RELEASE ME. It is the second in my Holmes Brothers saga, and features the second brother, Tobias “Toby”Holmes and his childhood friend, former basketball-playing tomboy, Sienna Culpepper. Sienna is no longer a tomboy, and Toby is definitely startingt o notice her grown-up assets. The story is once again set in New Orleans and centers around an American Idol-type reality TV show.

After a serious car accident ends his professional basketball career, Toby decides to try his hand at the music business. As luck would have it, a scout for a new reality TV show shows up at a club where Toby’s newest client is performing and chooses her to star in the show. Sienna Culpepper works as a marketing executive at the advertising firm Toby chooses to help turn his client into a star. And, of course, she is put in charge of Toby’s account.

I absolutely love the way this story turned out. The fact that I have read it for pleasure—twice!--says a lot. :) Readers should enjoy seeing Monica and Eli from DELIVER ME, and the others from the Holmes clan. There is also a sizzling hot secondary storyline featuring Toby’s best friend, attorney and upcoming nightclub owner, Jonathan Campbell and Sienna’s sister, Voo Doo Priestess, Ivana Culpepper. The chemistry between these two is combustible.

Did your writing process differ between the first and second book?

My writing process has differed for every single book I’ve written. I’ve accepted that I don’t have a set writing process. Life always throws these curveballs that inevitably screw up my process, so I’m trying to learn how to be open to living an “adjustable” life.

Take for instance what happened when writing RELEASE ME. When I got to page 100, I had to put the manuscript aside in order to work on revising a manuscript that was eventually rejected by Harlequin. After mailing that other manuscript one Saturday, I was all set to get back to work on RELEASE ME that following Monday morning. The date: August 29, 2005. Instead of writing that Monday, I was bugged out in a hotel in Dallas, escaping Hurricane Katrina’s wrath.

I still keep a yellow Post-it note in my wallet, on which I had written my “to do” list for Monday, August 29th, as a reminder of how quickly your world can change. I went several months without writing a thing. Luckily, I never lost the passion I had for Toby’s story. It is my favorite novel so far.

What do you most want to achieve as an author?

My short answer: To write full time and not worry about a day job.
My shorter answer: To make people smile.

If you could offer one suggestion to aspiring authors, what would it be?

Don’t think things get easier once you’ve published your novel. Like many aspiring writers, I thought the hardest part of this business was finally getting an editor to believe in your work, and eventually buy it. I learn each and every day just how difficult it is to survive in this business. If you really, truly want to be a published author, be prepared for lots of hard work.

Is there any thing else you’d like readers to know?

Of course! Be on the lookout for my second novel, RELEASE ME, which will be in stores in early June 2008. Also, stay tuned to my website, blog, and/or MySpace page for news on upcoming releases, contests, appearances, and an excerpt from RELEASE ME.

Farrah, I've really enjoyed getting to know you over the past year. Maybe we'll get the chance to combine forces one day. Meanwhile, here's to continued success!

Live. Love. Dream.
Stefanie

http://www.stefanieworth.com/